The Art of Simplification in a World of Junk (aka. I Have a Problem)

I've been feeling the need for simplification lately. This feeling really came to a head at the end of my pregnancy when I organized and scoured my house from top to bottom--no room or surface was left untouched. Now that the baby is 3 months old, the sleepless nights that accompany a newborn are subsiding, and I'm feeling more like my old self. Time to get a jumpstart on spring cleaning and life simplification.

Let me be frank--my house is full of crap. We have too much furniture, too many clothes, too many toys, too many knick-knacks, too much, too much, too much. I know this. I have always known this. We moved from a 1000 square foot house with a one car garage packed full of crap to a nearly 3000 square foot house with a two car garage THAT IS STILL FULL OF CRAP! I complain about our garage full of junk, yet I am partially responsible for filling it up. I complain that we have too much crap, yet I buy more.

Case in point: the lockers. When a friend of mine was moving, she advertised that she was selling a bunch of stuff. Knowing that she had great taste and lots of vintage goodies, Dave and I trotted on over to her house to check out a set of school lockers. In her cool 1930s bungalow, the 1960s era cool greenish blue lockers looked fabulous. They looked just like the lockers I used in high school--real vintage! My eyes twinkled with excitement...I wanted them, had to have them, couldn't live without them. $150 worth of awesomeness. Of course, they were heavy as hell and hard to move. We recruited a guy friend to help us move them. David used his legendary packing skills to strategically fit them into our Chrysler Pacifica. We unloaded them just inside the garage doors (HEAVY!), and this is where they sit today. They've been there for almost exactly one year. One year. Oy.

Oh, and have I mentioned my $8 thrift store chair? I have had plans to learn how to reupholster furniture for years now. Not wanting to tear up my furniture or risk ruining a truly fabulous vintage piece, I have had my eyes peeled for a chair that I could practice on. Imagine my surprise and excitement when I found the perfect specimen for $8! A little club chair covered in yellow crushed velvet (!) with skinny wooden legs and wood armrests. Ah, PERFECT! I bought the chair in June. Right now, it's sitting next to another vintage chair in my living room creating a little seating area. It looks like I'm preparing for a garage sale. Not. Even. Kidding.

My other problem is collecting vintage furniture and miscellaneous crap from family members. Don't get me wrong, I acquired all of my favorite pieces in this manner, but when you're a sentimental furniture-aholic it becomes hard to know when enough is enough. We have a few (4) too many dressers and vanities, 2 extra dining tables (in the garage), bed rails from an old bunk bed set (surely we could use that wood, right? Ha.), boxes from David's grandpa that I haven't even looked through, a butcher block island that Dave's grandpa made (which I DO love and intend to use), an extra full bed (more vintage family stuff), and a mudroom full of more crap. What is wrong with me? Clearly, I have a problem.

My furniture addiction doesn't stop there. I also have a tendency to buy crappy Target furniture under the guise of organization. We have 4 Target bookcases and a TV armoire that are not being utilized properly and need to go. Granted, these things worked well in my little 1000 square foot house with no storage space. The house i live in now has TONS of storage space that goes unused because I'm still storing all my crap on these shelves. Something has got to give! We actually have some hand made (by David) furniture on loan to my grandma for her farm house, too. David made three side tables because we thought we needed them. Whyyyyy? Who knows, but we must have really needed them (Pshaw!).

Sooooooo, my goal is to properly utilize all of my lovely vintage pieces (within 2011), get rid of what I cannot find a use for, and NOT buy or accept more crap. This will be hard, given the extent of my problems and my ideas for some of the pieces in my garage...like turning two pedestal bases from one long table into two smaller tables. Wha? I know. It's a problem. I'm working on it. (I will post pictures when I can get out into my garage without freezing my arse off)

Perfection Reflections

Last night, I was reading an article in an old magazine. It was about a mother's relationship with her daughter. It reads:

"If you truly want to connect with someone or you just want to keep a relationship fresh and vibrant, it takes more than nodding, agreeing, or even promising a puppy. It takes finding out who the person really is, what he or she really cares about, what he or she

really wants. And that involves listening. The kind of listening that has no agenda, isn't driven by ego, doesn't have to have all the answers, and doesn't have to fix everything. That kind of listening comes from wanting to discover, not needing to show what we already know. Because no matter how hard we try or how committed we are, relationships get tired and people float apart--unless we listen up."

Reading this happened to coincide with a good friend's post about imperfect friendships. After reading these passages, I spent hours reflecting upon my relationships, past and present. What I've come to realize is that my most cherished relationships are also the most imperfect relationships in my life. They are also my longest relationships, like my marriage or the friendship I share with my best friend. They are fraught with flaws. They are those relationships that I've cried into, yelled into, and spent hours and hours laughing into. Those that I've poured my heart into. I'm so thankful for those relationships because I've learned to practice forgiveness, I've had to compromise, I've had to put myself and my needs last, and it wasn't about my ego. It isn't just about how that person makes ME feel, it's about how I make THEM feel. It's about wanting to find out everything about that person, and accepting them-flaws and all. It's about listening when they are having a rough day and reading between the lines. It's about their wants and needs, not just my own. It's about seeing someone at their best and worst and loving them just the same. It's about allowing them to be who they are and accepting them unconditionally, with no judgement. It's NOT about having or being a sounding board. It's NOT about how someone looks next to you.

Too many people give up on relationships because they are imperfect and never get to that sweet spot where you look back and see how far you've come together and commit to forge on no matter what. There truly is a rainbow on the other side of that storm.

I have spent way too many hours striving for PERFECTION in all areas of my life, not just relationships. I even have an ancient myspace blog post about how my life was "Absolute Perfection" at the time. In fact, perfection itself has caused much of the turmoil and keeps me from doing the things I really want to do. For years, I didn't invite people to my house because it was small and imperfect, and I was ashamed. My quest for the perfect marriage kept me from seeing things I needed to see and saying things I needed to say. My need to "appear" perfect to others and to myself keeps me constantly unsatisfied with who I am and afraid to be myself around others. I get discouraged that I don't know how to make this blog beautiful, so I don't blog even though I really want to.

It isn't just me, either. Society as a whole is fascinated by perfection--the perfect body, the perfect marriage, perfect sex, perfect children, the perfect house, and the perfect life. Those things don't really exist. Therefore, my New Year's Resolution is to stop striving for perfection, accept that we are all imperfect (myself included), and allow life to unfold the way it is supposed to...with flaws and imperfections.

Amending Your Garden Soil

So, now that summer is half over, I'm finally getting around to posting this blog. This Spring, it seemed everyone wanted to know how to start their own organic garden. Hopefully, there are some of you who still have some burning questions about your garden--namely, healthy garden soil.

For those of you who didn't read my first blog about composting, I'll tell you that my Grandma (the self-proclaimed "pioneer at heart") taught me how to garden. When my G-ma first told me that I had to dig my garden 2 feet deep, I thought she was crazy. Since I was pregnant at the time I started my garden, my grandparents brought over a truckload of their "special" dirt, dug 2 feet down throughout the length of my garden, and tilled the soil with a pitchfork. Grandma did this all herself with some small help from me. I don't think either of us could bend over very well at that point, but we managed to make it work. Even in the summer, I hardly had to water, I never had to fertilize (which you don't want to do in an organic garden), the garden was virtually pest-free, and my fruits and blooms were as plentiful and colorful as ever.

When it came time for me to build another garden (I always mixed my flowers and my veggies), I thought, "Eh, I bet I could get away with only digging down a foot," and that is what I did. Now, don't get me wrong, I still grew plenty of healthy flowers and veggies, but I watered more and I fought more pests. So, the next year, determined to make up for any gardening wrong-doings, I went to work digging and turning and mixing my garden soil--this time at at depth of 2 feet. Whoa! What a difference this made! The only main problem that I had was keeping my lawn from encroaching the garden soil (I eventually lost this battle). The soil was SO rich and healthy that only watered once a week (even in August), and enjoyed the benefits of a beautiful garden.

Now that you're a believer in the 2 foot rule, I'll tell you WHAT to amend your soil with. It's so easy...compost (either homemade or store bought) for nutrients and beneficials, peat moss to hold in moisture, cow or horse manure (I always get mine from grandma's farm, but the store-bought kind works just as well) for balanced nutrients, and top soil for volume. Follow the directions on the packages to know how much you'll need to cover your square footage. Remember that garden soils (etc) are sold by the cubic foot. That's length x width x height (or depth as is the case here) of your garden. Make sure you mix well with a pitch fork or tiller.

My grandma would always cover her garden with a thick layer of straw. This acts as mulch to insulate your plants. You'll water less with a good thick layer. Plus, if you're planting in Spring, it's root protection from those late frosts that Oklahoma is known for. It's also a great way to stave off weeds. Stay away from the "tree bark" mulches as they can carry fungus. In some cases, the fungi produces spores that can actually "stick" to your house and cause damage. Visit http://www.whyy.org/91FM/ybyg/ for more great gardening advice and mulching tips.

Lastly, I have a problem with weeds. I have a bigger problem with chemical weed control. There is an organic gardening company called "Gardens Alive" that makes a product for weed control in lawns. The product is actually corn gluten meal. Research has shown that corn gluten meal keeps ALL seeds from germinating. I will mix this in to my garden as well as a prophylactic weed control. The only down side to using this product is that I am unable to plant seeds in the garden as this product will also keep them from germinating.

Hopefully, this has answered all of your burning questions regarding amending the soil. If you can't use it this year, there's always next year!

Composting

Composting in the organic garden

Lately, I've been hearing much talk about organic gardening and how people would like to start one.  My grandma taught me how to garden when I was a child.  I grew up helping her make compost, plant, pick, and eat all of our garden goodies.  My grandma calls herself, "a pioneer at heart."  She grew up in a time when everyone was poor, and everyone had a garden.  You didn't buy pesticides, you didn't buy fertilizer, and you woke up before school to do all of the chores.  Then of course, you walked uphill both ways!  ;0)

My grandma has taught me so much about what it is to be a gardener and a pioneer at heart, and I'd like to share with you what she shared with me (and continues to share with me!).

Why composting is the best thing for your garden and for our planet!

Fresh produce contains vitamins and minerals that are not only good for humans but for the garden as well.  When those fruits and veggies decompose, they give all those nutrients (and energy) back to the soil and basically become soil themselves.  This is what nature intended.  Along with all that nutrient rich soil comes something called "beneficials."  

Beneficials are insects and other bugs that help the garden out.  Beneficials are either predators, parasites, or pollinators.  Some beneficial insects will prey on the harmful insects.  Ladybug larvae or the praying mantis are good examples of predator bugs.  Tachinid flies and wasps are parasites of other insects.  The larvae of tachinid flies will burrow into some caterpillars and eat their internal organs.  Too bad for the caterpillar, but great for the garden leaves in which the caterpillars feed!  Then, there are the pollinators without which, we wouldn't have apples, cherries, pears, squash, citrus fruits, coffee, nuts, etc.  There are dozens of species of pollinating flies and wild bees that carry pollen from flower to flower.  This allows the fruit to mature.   

With this fresh, rich garden soil, you'll have less pests, all natural fertilizer, and the landfill will be spared a small burden by not throwing precious produce scraps away.  My family of four typically uses less trash than some couples without children.  There are weeks in which we don't even have to use trash service because we haven't filled one of the large garbage cans that the City provides.   When we do use trash service, we almost always only fill one garbage can as opposed to the two that most families use.  That is reason enough for us to compost!

Composting 101

So, how does it work? Composting is pretty easy.  Just find a spot in your backyard to start--you can dig a hole or make a pile.  You can even buy a composting bin for $99 at many local or online garden centers (even Walmart.com has one).  You don't need any fancy equipment to start composting.  

What to put in your pile (or bin)...

Anything that has once come out of the ground!  Any kind of scraps leftover  from using fresh produce--y'know, the cut off veggie/fruit tops, banana peels, orange peels, etc.  You can even use coffee grounds and eggshells!  The only exception is any kind of veggie/fruit that has been processed (like frozen or canned veggies) or anything that has been on the dinner plate.  These things will attract pests such as mice to the yard, so avoid throwing canned or frozen veggie/fruit scraps into the compost pile.  Also, make sure to bury or cover any fresh scraps to avoid attracting rodents.  

Remember, whatever is thrown into the pile will be eaten, so don't throw any dead animals or animal feces in the compost.  That dead mouse you found in the garage may indeed decompose, but it doesn't belong in your vegetable garden.  As well, chemical fertilizers should NOT be used in the compost or the natural garden.  This will harm the beneficial insects and really defeat the purpose of the natural, organic garden.  Compost is used in lieu of chemical fertilizers and pesticides.  This means, the compost provides all that the garden ever needs as far as nutrients and natural pest control.  

A rule of thumb is to alternate (mainly) nitrogen containing scraps with (mainly) carbon containing scraps.  What does that mean?  Something green followed by something brown.  If you throw on some "green" (or nitrogen) scraps such as lawn trimmings or produce scraps, you'll want to throw on some dead leaves (brown or carbon) the next time.  Just try and alternate the green and brown.  I always save some leaves from the fall in trash bags so I can use them again in the Spring to throw on top of the pile.

Stirring and Watering

When organic matter decomposes, it produces methane gas.  It's no secret that Oklahoma summers are hot.  Methane gas and hot sun can be a deadly combination (read:  FIRE).  That's why, it's important to stir and water the compost pile about once per week.  When stirring, try and get everything from the bottom stirred up to the top.  For the decomposition to occur, the organic matter MUST be exposed to oxygen.  (This is why nothing decomposes in landfills!)  I have found that a pitchfork is easier than using a shovel while stirring the compost as it allows for more aeration and a deeper dig.

It should only take a few months for the compost to be ready to use.  It's always a good idea to start in the Fall so the compost will be ready for Spring planting.  Composting is easy to do, but it does take a little effort.  The benefits to your garden, health, and the health of our planet far outweigh the small amount of effort required to start composting.